Lost and Found
by Lucy May
Summary: Although they've remained friends, the aftermath of the prank has changed the level of closeness once shared by Remus and Sirius. Sirius wants things back to the way they were. RxS.
1. Chapter 1

" Ouch! Damn it, Wormtail! You're eating! You're supposed to be covering me, and you're bloody eating!" James Potter cried at the blonde boy crouched behind their snow fort, who had inexplicably acquired a sandwich in the midst of a heated snowball fight between them and three girls from Gryffindor. Peter shrugged, and shoved the offending snack in his pocket, resuming his duty as supplier of weaponry, packing the powdery snow into missiles.

Remus landed a good shot square in Lily Evans' chest, ducking from retaliation with a breathless laugh.

" Too bad Padfoot's got detention," he said. " He'd really enjoy this."

" He'll probably be out soon. It's almost two," Peter said, handing James a snowball.

" Admit defeat, Potter!" Alice Brown screamed, knocking his glasses off with a well aimed shot.

" Never!" James roared, blindly returning fire and missing terribly.

" Oi, look! We've a hostage now!" Vivian Jones squealed joyfully, causing all three boys to peek over the fort curiously.

" Get off!" they heard Sirius laughingly protest as the three girls tackled him and drug him behind the low wall of snow they'd constructed.

" Help, Prongs! They're having their wicked way with me! I'm too pretty to be a prisoner!" Sirius called out.

" Right, men! They're fighting dirty now. Time to brave no man's land and storm the enemy fortress!" James cried dramatically, leaping over the fort, snowball in hand.

The other two followed with a war whoop, and the three prepared to dodge fire that never came. Looking at one another in confusion, they slowed their pace and casually walked to where the girls were giggling loudly behind their fort.

" What the hell are you wearing, Padfoot?" James asked, pushing his now slightly bent glasses back on his nose. The girls were fawning over Sirius like he were a large doll. He looked up with a grin from the depths of a fur trimmed hood.

" Did you rob an Eskimo, Padfoot?" Peter said, scratching his chin.

" Nicked it from the lost and found. Isn't it great?" Sirius asked.

" I think it's kinda sexy," said Alice with a smile. " Looks like something I saw Mick Jagger wear once." James snorted.

" You look like a right git," he said, dropping his snowball.

" Jealous," Sirius said with a wink.

" So is the snowball fight over, then?" Peter asked. " I could go for some hot cocoa about now." The group murmured with agreement, and began to make their way to the castle.

Sirius threw a fur trimmed arm around Remus as the fell back slightly from the others.

" So what do you think of the coat, Moony?" he asked. Remus shrugged.

" I dunno. Looks warm," he said, his cheeks slightly flushed. Sirius impulsively grabbed Remus' long fingers with his own, swinging the boy's bony arm to and fro playfully. Remus gave him a polite smile that conveyed nothing in particular.

" You should see the lost and found room, Moony! It's brilliant. There's all sorts of things in there. We need to sneak in there and have a look around sometime," Sirius said. Remus looked at him suspiciously.

" What exactly were you doing in there, anyway?" Remus asked, receiving a smirk from his companion.

" Poor, naive Slughorn had me try to straighten it for my detention," Sirius said. Remus shook his head.

" He's no idea the seed of evil he's planted, has he?" Remus asked with amusement.

" Nope. I have a feeling this will be a source of much mischief, indeed. But I really just thought you might enjoy looking around it, you know, for books and things," Sirius said, glancing at Remus' thin, worn jacket and wondering if he were as cold as he looked.

" Might find you a cool coat, too," Sirius said with a laugh, hoping he'd worded it casually enough. Remus stopped in his tracks, his hand slipping from Sirius'.

" No, go with James or something. I need to study," he said, carefully filtering the irritation out of his voice.

" It's Friday, Moony," Sirius said plaintively. A flicker of pity flashed in Remus' golden brown eyes, but was replaced by an emotionless stare, as he walked past Sirius in the direction the others had gone.

Sirius followed the path of muddy slush the others had left in their wake behind him, gazing at the the way the sunlight lit the frosty trees with a wistful sigh. He wished things could go back to the way they once were with him and Remus. Remus had always been one to shut others out, and never say exactly what he was thinking, but not with him. There was a trust there his friend had shown him, in the days when they first mastered becoming animagi, that he didn't seem to have for anyone else. They had become so close, as Sirius watched over him long after the others had left, sharing secrets, having long conversations about everything, and generally just enjoying being near to one another. It was different than it was with James somehow. Sirius didn't have to feign toughness all the time with the gentle, quiet boy who listened to him without judgment. And he never felt the urge to snog James fiercely.

Sirius gave another dramatic release of breath, as he caught up with Remus, who ignored him. I've thrown it all away, Sirius thought miserably.

In the common room, Sirius plopped down beside Remus in the narrow armchair by the fire, half way in his lap. Remus gave him an annoyed look, but said nothing, as the other five students gathered around in the surrounding seats, each taking a steaming mug of cocoa from the table. Sirius jumped up and grabbed two of the cups, settling back down on Remus and handing him one. Sirius wriggled his way further into the seat, leaving Remus' lap, but forcing them so close together that Sirius had to throw an arm around the back of the chair to accommodate them. He took the coat he'd shed and laid it across their knees. the fur trim making Remus sneeze.

" Don't tell me you're allergic to fur, Moony. That would be pretty unfortunate," Sirius whispered in his ear, his warm breath nearly making the already nervous boy spill his drink. James spared them a glance, tearing his eyes away from Lily for a half second.

" You're such a poof, Sirius. Just tell him to get off you, Moony," James said, turning his attention back to the girls, who were giggling. Sirius stiffened slightly.

" Sorry, Moony," he muttered sulkily, sliding down and sitting on the floor instead. Sirius thought he saw Remus open his mouth to say something, but the words never came.

" Psst. Moony."

Remus was awakened by a shift in weight on his bedsprings, and an urgent whisper.

" Wha?" he said, rubbing his eyes and untangling himself from the sheets.

" I can't sleep. Come here," Sirius whispered. Remus caught a glimpse of moonlight on raven black hair by the window seat in the dorm, and rolled ungracefully off the bed to join him. Sirius had opened the window a crack, lighting a cigarette, and turning from where he perched by the window with a smile.

" I don't know what they're thinking," Remus said, climbing up beside him and taking a cigarette for himself. " Having a window that opens in a school on this floor."

" It's charmed. Look," Sirius said, stretching his arm out and meeting resistance.

"It's not strong enough to resist me jumping out, or even throwing this fag out the window, but it gives enough push to upright you if you should fall accidentally." Remus smirked.

" How'd you know that? You try to jump?" Remus asked. Sirius shrugged and looked away.

" No, but I've thought about it a couple of times," he said with a quiet laugh. Remus studied him closely.

" That's not funny, Sirius," Remus whispered. Sirius gave a dismissive gesture.

" Ah, you know I have a flair for the dramatic. Just too proud for my own good," he said. Remus shook his head in wonder at Sirius' candidness.

They both looked out the window, hearing a loud crack below, as a tree limb buckled from the weight of the snow.

" I'll probably come back as a tree," Sirius murmured, looking below with a strange smile.

" What?" Remus asked.

" There's a sect in Hinduism that believes that exhibisionists and the overly proud come back as trees when they die," Sirius said.

" Why trees?" Remus asked.

" I dunno. Maybe the way the tarty little things drop their leaves every year and stand about naked," Sirius said with a grin. Remus' lips twitched slightly.

" Well, you'd best keep your pants on then," Remus said. Sirius shrugged.

" Might not be so bad, being a tree," he mused, watching the wind blow their branches on the grounds below.

" Why on earth would you want to be a tree, Padfoot?" Remus asked in amusement.

" Trees can't hurt anyone they love," Sirius said, looking up at last and meeting Remus' eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

" What's done is done, Pads," Remus said, fidgeting. " I don't want to talk about that, okay?" Sirius frowned and nodded.

" So, are you going with me to the lost and found chamber, or am I going to sit here with you and listen to James snore?" Sirius asked hopefully. Remus shrugged.

" I guess I could do," he said, slipping off the window seat, Sirius glancing at the slight show of skin between his pajama top and pants as he did so, swallowing hard.

It didn't take long to reach the room they sought on the third floor. Sirius tucked away the map, and Remus folded the invisibility cloak neatly, as they stepped inside. Sirius lit the torches along the walls with a wave of his wand. It rather looked like an enormous attic, crammed haphazardly with dusty and long forgotten things, spilling out of trunks and stacked upon shelves.

" I thought you said Slughorn sent you here to straighten the place," Remus said, taking in the chaotic mess in awe. Sirius shrugged.

" I didn't say I did a good job, now did I?" he said, strolling along shelf that held mainly remembrals that had all turned red, smiling at the irony. A strange, low whistle sounded from somewhere between them. Remus dug the source of it out, inspecting it under the torchlight.

" It's a sneakascope," Remus said with a frown. " Someone's charmed it to go off when there are dark creatures around." Sirius grabbed it from him, looking at it disdainfully.

" What, like members of the Black family?" he said with a half smile, chucking the object against the wall and silencing it. Remus smiled enigmatically, and turned to look at the other side of the room.

" An awful lot of muggle stuff in here," Sirius said with interest, picking up a clock radio and wondering what it it was.

" Muggleborn students probably brought stuff, not realizing it wouldn't work here without electricity," Remus said, lovingly caressing the spines of a large collection of leatherbound books he'd found.

" Your phonograph works," Sirius said.

" Yes, because it has a crank," Remus said patiently, having explained this numerous times before.

" There are some records over here, speaking of your phonograph," Sirius said.

" Really?" Remus asked with interest, joining Sirius beside a stack of LPs and flipping through them.

" There's some great stuff here, really old and quite rare. I'll have to ask Dumbledore about them sometime," Remus said, inspecting the condition of one of the discs. Sirius shrugged.

" Just take them, Remus. No one's coming back for them, and what good would they do the school?" Sirius asked.

" I'm not taking things that aren't mine, Padfoot," Remus said, putting the records back carefully.

" Suit yourself," Sirius said, turning and opening a random trunk beneath a cracked mirror.

" Hey, Moony, look at these," Sirius said, grabbing a beret off a stack of what turned out to be an enormous collection of disguarded hats and cramming it on his head at a jaunty angle. Remus laughed, walking over and fishing out a faded black bowler hat. They tried on various silly headgear for a while, a carefree air of silliness and fun dispelling the tension between them for the first time since the fateful event that had nearly destroyed their friendship.

Sirius crept up behind Remus as he faced the mirror, shoving a lacy cap over his head. Remus struggled, convulsing with mirth, as Sirius' hands slipped about his shoulders to tie it at his chin. Remus shoved a little too hard, sending Sirius flying to the ground with a pained cry.

" Oh my God, Sirius, I'm so sorry," Remus said, pulling off the hat and crouching beside him. Sirius looked up breathlessly and began to laugh.

" I'll be telling my grandchildren about the time," Sirius gasped, clutching his sides,

" that I was assaulted by the werewolf in a frilly bonnet." Remus collapsed beside him in a fit of giggles, wiping tears from his eyes.

" At least I wasn't pretending to be your grandmother," Remus said, renewing the laughter, sending them rolling on the floor. They finally were still, sprawled and panting on the dusty floorboards, side by side. Remus grew almost deathly quiet.

" That's not how you'll remember me is it? As the werewolf?" Remus asked in a soft voice. Sirius felt a cold chill, like someone had submerged him in icy water, as much at how meekly the question was asked as by the question itself. He turned on his side, looking at his friend, who suddenly looked quite fragile for a boy who had effortlessly knocked him off his feet just moments before.

" God, no, Moony," he said, running a hand over the boy's light brown hair, pushing it from his eyes. They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

" I meant it," Sirius said, breathing in sharply, " when I said that I loved you, Remus.

If this were it, if you never forgive me and we drift apart, I'd still remember you as someone I loved." Remus shook his head and sat up.

" I have forgiven you, Sirius," Remus said. Sirius sat up next to him.

" Then why aren't things like they were? We used to be so close, Moony," Sirius said.

" We were too close. I realize that now," Remus said, seemingly as much to himself as to the boy beside him.

" You hurt me, Sirius, but I could hurt you a lot worse," Remus said, gazing at his own hands. " If anything, that incident showed me that I'm not someone anyone should get too close to." Sirius sighed.

" There's a storm brewing out there, Moony. Voldemort is getting more powerful everyday. There's going to be a war, and we're going to be in it together. I don't think this is the time to be shutting me out. I have Padfoot, Remus, and I know what you become and what it means. I screwed up, I realize, but believe me, I know. Let me be your friend again, Moony. I need you," Sirius said. Remus looked up to see Sirius' eyes gleaming brightly with tears he was willing not to fall.

" I need you, too," Remus whispered. " Damn me for being so selfish, but I do."

The boys embraced tightly, relief and tenderness overwhelming them both. Sirius was smiling brightly, in way that Remus hadn't seen him do in some time, when they pulled apart.

" Oh, thank God, Moony," he said. " There's just been so much I've been going through lately, and so much I've wanted to talk to you about that James wouldn't understand or would make fun me about. You have no idea how much I've missed you." Remus smiled.

" I've missed you, too, Pads," Remus said.

A week later, after the full moon, Sirius laid beside Remus on a ragged matress in the Shrieking Shack, the light of dawn peering through the cracks between the wooden boards of the wall. They'd been up for an hour. Remus' wounds were shallow, but he couldn't sleep, and Sirius dutifully kept him company after the others had left. Sirius had made him laugh for a while, until their conversation took a more thoughtful turn.

" I think I might be gay, Moony," Sirius whispered, looking at the exposed roofbeams above.

" I thought as much," Remus said. Sirius turned on his side in surprise.

" What? Did I do something? Does everyone know? Does James?" he asked, his panic rising. Remus shook his head.

" No, nothing like that, Padfoot," Remus said.

" Then why did you think it?" Sirius asked, looking as though he wished the earth would swallow him.

" Because you're always staring at me when you think I'm not looking. And the way you're always touching me," Remus said, coloring slightly. Sirius sat up quickly.

" I -- I'm sorry, Remus. I --" Sirius stammered, burying his face in his hands. Remus placed a hand on his shoulder.

" I never said that I didn't like it," Remus said softly, smiling sheepishly as Sirius turned to look at him.

" Then you don't mind? It doesn't, well, disgust you?" Sirius asked. Remus shook his head.

" I was afraid I was just imagining things. But when you said you loved me --" Remus said, sitting up beside Sirius, the thin sheet falling to his waist. Sirius cautiously touched him, caressing his face, his hand traveling slowly down to rest on the back of Remus' neck, their eyes never leaving each others'.


End file.
